#i love kyle broflovski's speeches

[catsfurrealzx3]

Kyle was honestly so right in this episode. Because not only did he correctly gender AND correctly name Caitlyn Jenner throughout the entire episode, -save for one instance, where he corrected himself immediately- he also never meant ANY transphobia towards her. All he was saying was she wasn't a hero in HIS eyes. He even specifically says it! "I didn't say she wasn't a hero! I just said she wasn't a hero TO ME." That being said, on the other side of the argument, I love PC Principal so much, (Aside from his violence towards the kids) and I think especially as his character progresses throughout the show, he becomes a genuinely good person and an awesome role model for the students. Even though his actions were far fetched and straight up abusive at times (e.g. the fight scene with Cartman) his intentions were only ever to educate his students about tolerance.

All this being said, I know literally nothing about Caitlyn Jenner. I just like Kyle and the PC episodes are so interesting to think about.

[corporatefrog]

꒦‧₊ ꒷ HEADCANNONS: Kenny, Kyle, Stan, and Butters saving you as superheroes/villains when you're in danger! ✧.*

✧.* tags: college au, superhero au ✧.* Characters: kenny mccormick, kyle broflovski, stan marsh, butters scotch a/n: another amazing anon request! i always love the suggestions and they lead to such fun scenarios (and ways to zone out during class lol)

masterlist

Kenny/Mysterion: 

Literally the scene from the beginning of Megamind where they’re in the observatory

Except he bursts in and saves you 

You were just trying to get footage of mysterion’s press conference then suddenly you’re tied up in the storage unit- sorry, the LAIR OF CHAOS

(he gets sad when you don’t call it that)

“Ah mysterion! It is I, your greatest foe-”

“I wouldn’t say greatest”

“Professor chaos- wait what?”

“I’m just saying I've literally fought cthulhu. He’s probably the greatest”

“Well, Cthulhu was an eldritch horror ! He doesn't count!”

“Yes he does”

“No he doesn't!”

“Yes he does!”

“No he doesn't-”

“Guys I really got to piss, can we speed this up?”

Mysterion shows up a few minutes later but you don’t get ‘rescued’ for another 30 minutes because him and chaos kept arguing

He walks you home and says he’ll always be there to save you

But you know the same thing is going to happen next week

Kyle/Human Kite

You were at the park with kyle to visit the pet adoption fair being held by the south park animal shelter

But Professor Chaos had other plans. 

Suddenly all of the animals were let out of their pens and were running through the park 

It was the most adorable stampede to ever exist

You turned to tell ky that you guys had to help but he was gone?

The text he sent: “allergic to cats. Sorry.”

BRO WHAT??

You get absolutely DOG PILED

By actual dogs. 

Chaos is evilly laughing while blowing a dog whistle while General Disarray points laser pointers at people’s feet 

You were ready to give into your death by puppy

But you’re pulled out from the dog heap by human kite! 

He flies??? Over to chaos and slaps the dog whistle out of his hands and starts lecturing him

You almost feel bad for the guy

But then again, there are cats running up trees and dogs running into the street so animal safety comes first

You help them take care of the animals 

(and definitely end up adopting a furry friend :) )

Stan/Toolshed

Professor chaos has stuck you in a small cell surrounded by glass with a 2 hour timer ticking down towards an unknown demise

Usually it wouldn’t have been an issue for tool to grab a sledge hammer and take care of it 

But the cell was made of impact proof glass 

That didn’t stop Toolshed from trying to break through the glass for 30 minutes while professor chaos monologues from a tv screen in the corner

“HAHHAA! I bet you’re wondering how I managed to trap-”

WOMP

“You won’t be breaking through that glass anytime-”

WOMP

“H-Hey! Let me at least get through my-”

WOMP

“WELL GOSH DARN IT LET ME DO MY SPEECH FIRST!”

And the only way to unlock it was to complete an escape room and find a key

But professor chaos seems to have forgotten that stan loves complex board games

And what is an escape room if not a complex solo board game? 

“You need to use the cipher from the map to decode the encyclopedia for the safe code!” 

“Oh yeah, I’ll definitely do that. If I were an idiot.”

“Okay now you’re just being mean” 

“It’s obvious that the map cipher is used for the chess board to give you the steps for the dance dance revolution machine!”

“...yeah totally. I definitely knew that’s how it works.”

He has you out in like 5 minutes 

And you make a mental note to never play Settlers of Katan with him. 

Butters/Professor Chaos

The freedom pals kidnapped you to try and get information out of you since you act as tech help for chaos

Well it was really just the coon

“I thought that kidnapping was a villain thing”

“Yeah because when a superhero does it, it’s taking a villain into custody”

“I really don’t see the logic there”

“WELL YOU DONT HAVE TO SO SHUT UP”

“I thought you wanted me to talk?”

“AHHHHH”

Really you were just giving cartman shit for a few hours

Until the basement suddenly fills with smoke!

Professor Chaos threw smoke bombs into a small enclosed basement (not a good idea-)

You both barely manage to get out while coughing through the smoke

But you do it!!

Yippie!! 

Chaos insists on getting you ice cream as an apology for getting wrapped up in everything

“I mean, if I had to deal with that dickwad everyday, I’d want to cause chaos to piss him off too. I only was there for an hour and i never want to see him smile again” 

You just became the coolest person ever to him

[tiniedemon]

— ♡

when i look at you

kenny mccormick / reader / kyle broflovski

— ♡

cw | substance abuse, tooth rotting fluff, polyamory

kyle was nervous. he wasn't the type of nervous where he felt nauseous and shaky. it was more the sort of nervous that left a pleasant tingle in his gut and a slight bounce to his leg. he couldn't focus on the conversation between his lovers, entirely too taken by the events soon to take place.

you were stuffing a bowl, fingers stained with keef and blissful smile on your face. this would be your second bowl of the evening. kenny was on kyle's other side, deft fingers and pierced tongue working to roll the perfect blunt. the smell of marijuana hung heavy in the air, only amplifying kyle's anxiety.

he'd never smoked weed before. he'd smoked a cigarette once in fourth grade as an experiment, and his lungs were otherwise virgin to any foreign vapors. he hadn't even tried one of your fruity vapes or kenny's menthol cigarettes, no matter how hard the two of you begged him to. he'd volunteered himself for this.

kenny finally finished up the blunt and bumped his shoulder against kyle's as he lit it, smiling around the butt of it.

"still down to smoke?" he asked, speech a bit muffled due to the object between his lips. kyle inhaled slowly and nodded, wiping his sweaty palms against his pant legs. you set one hand on his knee, the other assisting your thighs in holding the very expensive bong upright, and offering a soft curl of your lips. it left kyle feeling nervous for an entirely different reason.

"you really don't have to, ky," you hushed, eyes droopy and bloodshot from your smoke intake. he grinned shakily in return, heart hammering in his chest. he was nervous, sure, but there was a sort of rebellious excitement swelling in his chest.

"i know, baby," he responded in a soft tone, hand falling over yours where it rested against his leg. "i want to. i promise i'm choosing this for myself, not just for you two."

you nodded slowly with an accepting smile, letting your mouth fall against the bong in your lap and withdrawing your hand to light the bowl. kenny nudged kyle's shoulder, drawing the ginger's attention to the charming man at his other side. kenny offered up the blunt with thin fingers and a crooked smile. he swore in that moment he couldn't get enough of kenny's cocky grins.

the first hit was a shitshow. the sting hit his throat before his lungs, leaving him coughing to the point of tears. once he finally regained his ability to breathe correctly, kyle realized how lightheaded he was.

his entire body buzzed just beneath the skin, an excitable giggle bubbling up his throat and past his lips before he could stop it. he couldn't bring himself to be embarrassed, taken with the loopy detachment of his head from his shoulders.

the second hit wasn't nearly as bad, the coughing only minute and the smile on kyle's face growing. he wasn't sure he'd ever felt this nice in his entire life, save for the day he solidified his relationship with the loves of his life.

"you good, ky?" he heard your voice ask. it took his brain a few moments to piece together your question, his eyes trained on the curves and angles of your face. he reached a hand up, settling it against your cheekbone with a giddy smile.

"you're so beautiful," he whispered, happiness spewing over in his chest. "like, down to your soul and shit."

kenny burst out into laughter, which sent kyle into a fit of laughter, followed by your own giggling episode. once the laughter died down, kyle was staring intently at kenny as the blonde finished off the blunt in his grasp. his fumbling hands came to rest on kenny's closet leg, tugging on the fabric of his sweats. he couldn't help the lovesick sigh he let out, too entranced by both his insanely handsome boyfriend and this insanely good high.

"ken," he called, voice a bit louder than he intended. "i just want you to know that you are literally jesus. except, like, i'd die for you instead of the other way around."

kenny paused in his disposal of the roach, turning his loving gaze to his boyfriend. then he dragged his icy eyes to his other lover, who sat reclined on the couch, watching the interaction with a loving glint in your eyes.

"hopefully you never have to," the blonde murmured, turning his attention back to the sticky ginger practically crawling into his lap. "i'd never let that happen. y'know, since i'm jesus and shit."

cue another round of laughter.

[archivxx]

I love my 🩻 anon so much for this.

Should of faxed it. {Kyle Broflovski x Reader}

✯ Genre: smut (reader is fem)(Kyle is aged up.)

✯ Relationship: unestablished, enemies.

✯ Style: One shot

✯ Context: you’ve been working in this law firm under Kyle as his assistant for longer than you can remember and it’s the most frustrating and draining job you’ve ever had.

Your legs were moving under you faster than you were aware of. At this point you may have even been running with the speed which things were going past you. You didn’t really care, if you were running then, despite the fool you were absolutely making of yourself, that’s fine. Good even. It’s probably what you needed really. You were running late. Extremely late. You needed to make it into the office as soon as possible, you could practically see your bosses face when you closed your eyes. He would not be impressed, that deep crease that occupied the space between his eyebrows sunk even deeper than usual.

There was no doubt that your boss was handsome, you even had some lingering feelings for him from when you started, however after three years of essentially being his “bitch” you had grown almost completely unattracted to him, almost, and you absolutely and wholly hated him, and he most definitely hated you too. Honestly, you were willing to argue about it for days on end, no person who respected you as a colleague would ever treat said colleague as though they’re a slave.

You burst through the glass doors of his office with his coffee mumbling an apology for the dramatic entrance and lowering your head in attempts to be less noticeable. You walked, or more so strode over to his desk in attempt to make the time you were in the room shorter, the faster you were out of there the faster you could forget about the mess that was this morning.

You placed the coffee down on the desk and turned to leave. You’d actually gotten out of the whole thing completely unscathed. You began to head for the door.

“Wait.” Shit fucker.

You slowly turned on your heel, “Can I help you, Kyle?”

“What time do you call this.” He got up from his seat and advanced towards you.

You stared at him for a long moment. What the fuck does he mean? You stared at him for a moment more, finding the right words, trying your best to not spit venom at him. “What the do you mean, “what time do you call this?” Do you realise,”—You wanted to stop, you really did but it was far too late now, he needed to hear this anyway—“the only reason I’m late is because I stood in line for almost an hour,” You began to raise your voice. “Because your picky ass can’t just have regular coffee like everyone else, noooo, you can’t because you’re Kyle Broflovski, you’re too good to drink regular coffee like other people, you have to have it done perfectly by a fucking barista that doesn’t get payed anywhere near enough to deal with shitty ass customers like you.” You took a deep breath in attempt to calm down, “So, if you must know, I’m late because of you.”

He stared at you. No, he more so bore into you. His eyes had gone dark, almost sinister. His mouth bobbed a few times. You almost cried, you couldn’t quite believe your eyes. For the first time ever, you’d rendered Kyle Broflovski completely speechless.

He was still glaring at you. You began to back up slightly, you felt like prey. With the way he was looking at you, you thought you might have actually turned into a piece of meat and Kyle was your predator.

You took in a sharp, painful breath about to apologise when Kyle took one long step towards you, almost a leap. Before you could move away from him and run for your life he had grabbed your hips and was kissing you.

You pushed him off with all your strength, with was enough you make him stumble. It was now your turn to glare, you waited for an answer.

“I’m sorry for my improperness, however, that speech right now…truly…something.” The tone of his voice was almost evil, you truly enjoyed it. Deep down you knew you wanted this. On a surface level, you knew you wanted this and it killed you to admit that you’d been thinking about thing since day one.

Not matter how much you hated Kyle that did not change the inevitable fact that he was absolutely sexy, a sexy that you had to train yourself to resist. A sexy that almost sent your silly when he would talk to you. He was sexy in a smouldering way, arguably the perfect kind of sexy.

The fact you knew you both wanted this for some odd and unexplainable reason made him all the more desirable.

It was your turn to “leap” at him. This time you actually did leap though, you jumped up, wrapping your legs around his waist and kissing him. He didn’t hesitate to kiss back, making his way over to his desk.

When you got to his desk, he placed you down, not exactly gently. He trapped you between his hands on the desk continuing to kiss you, not once breaking for air.

When he finally did break for air, he stared at you, you could tell by the look on his face he wanted to ask for your consent without but completely unsure of the words to use. “I give you my consent, boss.” The nickname must have really helped him as his started to make quick work of removing your clothes, slipping your pencil skirt off and letting it pool on the floor and unbuttoning your shirt at a speed you’d never seen before from anyone unbuttoning a shirt, not even ripping a button off.

He began kissing your chest, not making any move to unclasp your bra. No, instead he made work of your pants, starting off by hooking his fingers in the hem of them. He peeled them off your at a painful slow speed compared to when he had been taking off your skirt.

He stared at you, his cold eyes lingering over you for longer than you had anticipated. He was raking you in, soaking up the sight, to like you were absolutely gorgeous but at the same time an absolute beast, you had a sharp tongue and a complimentary eye for mistakes. You had called him out many times and no matter how much it pissed him off he had wanted to fuck the hatred he had for you right out of him.

He waisted no time taking off his own clothes either, disposing of his own suit on the floor.

He somewhat forcefully grabbed your thighs and pushed them open. He lined up and before you had a chance to prepare your he pushed into you, knocking every thought out of your head. You let your head roll back.

He didn’t give you much time before he was moving, driving his hips forward with a power that, for such a small framed man, shocked you. You let a whimper fall past your lips, spreading your legs as far as you could, he was hitting all the perfect spots.

It did take very long for you both be become disheveled. Your orgasm was so near that you could practically feel it. Your knees were tingling and your core was tightening. Right when you were about to grab onto that hot white heat of release that you longed for, Kyle pulled out.

He pulled out. What the fuck was he pulling this time? What an asshole.

Then, before you could protest, he pried you off the desk making you stand, turned you around and bent your over the desk, not a single word leaving his lips. You couldn’t help but feel more attracted to him in that moment, your cheeks were burning and your core tightened more.

Before you could get any answers from him, he stuffed himself back inside you, returning to his previous speed. The new angle left your feeling starstruck. He was abusing all of the parts that he needed to.

A whimper landed on your back, the small sound tickled you. He placed a kiss against your shoulder blade continuing to pound you with passion, passion that you knew was duped by hatred. As much as you both wanted the, the idea of knocking each other down to their most vulnerable state drove you more towards it. The was no denying your hatred for one another however there was also no denying your attraction to one another.

You could practically hold your orgasm in your hand. It was so close. Mere inches away. You could feel the heat bubbling up inside you, and you could feel it in him too. He was close, you could tell by the way his drive had gotten higher, he’d become rougher with you. Sharp and harsh snaps of his hips, your skin clapping together.

A longer moan left your lips as your orgasm crashed over you. That sweet release you’d been waiting for. Kyle’s hips began to stutter. Then, long white ropes painted your inside, his hips coming to a holt. He teased his head on your back tickling you with his breath.

“Fuck, Y/N.”

You couldn’t say much, in fact you couldn’t think much. When Kyle had finally regained his bearings, he pulled out, allowing his semen to ooze out of you, trying not to pay much attention too it. He redressed himself quickly while you came back to reality.

When you’d finally come back from your high, you pushed yourself off the table. You dressed yourself as quickly as your could and made your way towards the door.

“Hold on.” You turned on your heel feeling a slight sense of deja vu. “Don’t be late again.”

You rolled your eyes. “Okay, boss.” Asshole. And with that you stormed out of his room, trying to best to not slam the door behind you. You head straight for your office.

Bye this is sooo bad💀

[dannystheone]

LEE KYLE LEE KYLE

hmmm maybe he’s tryna give one of his gay ass speeches and the 3 boys are fed up and want him to shush so ofc they use the most efficient method hehe

GAY ASS SPEECH PLLSKEFNEW

OUT OF ALL THE IDEAS I HAD REQUESTED TO ME THIS WAS THE FUNNIEST

ugh i love you anon LMAKSSK PLEASE

So the summer vibes are PERFECT today so I thought we could have a pool fic!!

WARNINGS: Feet tickles and kids swearing! also kind of a long intro sorry

Kyle's New Pool! (Lee Kyle/Multiple Lers)

Kyle got a new pool installed for the summer in his backyard, but he needs to set some ground rules first!

I hope you like this! :) also I just re-read the whole thing and totally forgot Clyde existed AAA sorry he'll be in the next one

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Energetic boys piled into the Broflovski's home, yelling and shouting with excitement. They were all eager to get a glimpse of what new installment was waiting in the backyard. Kyle had said his parents put something BIG for the summer back there, and to look for themselves to see he wasn't full of shit.

"Oh Gerald! There sure are a lot of them, I wasn't expecting so many guests!" Sheila Broflovski was pretty much plastered to her wall as boys from the fourth-grade class rumbled through her front door, including even a boy wheeling in on a motorized wheelchair.

"Just set out some more chips Sheila- OOF-" Gerald Broflovski was nearly run over by the entourage of shirtless boys as they threw open the sliding glass door in the kitchen and piled outside in the backyard.

"Look! There it is!" Craig Tucker called out. All the boys scrambled to the edge of the water. Kyle wasn't lying. His parents had installed a huge glistening pool in their backyard! The grass and playground they used to have were replaced with concrete, with pillowy lounging areas and table seating off to the sides.

"It's amazing! GAH! It's so hot out here! If I don't get in the water I'm gonna die!" Tweak Tweek winked an eye as Craig turned to him and started applying sunscreen to his shoulders, already blushing from the sun.

"Where the hell is Kyle?" Stan Marsh asked.

"Yeah, should we just get in without him?" Kenny McCormick questioned.

"TIMMEH!" Timmy answered.

"Guys! I'm right here! Isn't it cool?!" Kyle showed up behind the crowd of boys with a few boxes of Capri-Suns under his arms. The fourth-grade class cheered as Kyle set the boxes down on his patio table.

"Yeah, yeah, it's kewl, now let's get in the water already!" Eric Cartman pulled on his goggles and started pulling on his floaties to his upper arms. The boys followed suit by kicking off their flip-flops and throwing their shirts off.

"Woah, woah, woah, hang on fat-ass!" The fourth-grade boys froze and looked at Kyle quizzically. Kyle adjusted his green hat, despite wearing no shirt and green swim trunks.

"Before you get in the pool, there's some rules we have to follow! My dad said if we don't pay attention to the rules, he's not gonna let all of us use it anymore." Kyle explained. The boys looked at each other before they shrugged and continued taking their clothing items off.

"Okay well, what are the rules?" Tolkien Black asked. Kyle splayed his hands to get everyone's attention, but the boys chatted amongst themselves.

"Alright! Rule number one! ABSOLUTELY NO PEEING IN THE POOL! THAT'S DISGUSTING!! I'm looking at you, Cartman!" Cartman yelled out an "AYE!" before Kyle continued. "There is a bathroom located inside the house, first door on your right!"

Kyle looked around to see if he had everyone's attention. He had the attention of Butters, Jimmy, Timmy, and Tolkien, but everyone else was either setting up their toys in the pool or talking to other people.

"Guys! Don't put anything in the pool until I'm done saying the rules! This is important!" Kenny looked up from the pool as he slowly slid on a snorkel. Kyle sighed exasperated as he continued.

"Rule number two! No running around the edge of the pool or the pool area in general! It can get slippery and you don't want to fall! Rule number three! No diving headfirst into the pool, even in the deep area! You can hit your head and get hurt! Cannonballs are okay!" Cartman yawned loud and obnoxiously as the rest of the boys stood around and looked at their phones. Kyle could tell he was losing their attention already.

"Shut up Cartman! Rule number four! You have to put on sunscreen before you enter the pool! My mom is gonna set a timer for 80 minutes for everyone so we can get out of the pool, reapply our sunscreen, and then we can get back in!" The boys looked up at Kyle and groaned loudly.

"Dude we don't need sunscreen, the sun is good for you!" Stan complained. Craig was still helping Tweek apply his sunscreen across his back, so at least he was good. Kyle looked over at Stan with narrowed eyes.

"Dude do you have any idea how much cancer you can get from the sun?! Skin cancer is no joke! There was a study published just this year in 2023 stating that more than 2 people die of skin cancer every hour in the U.S.! 1 in 5 Americans will develop skin cancer by the age of 70! Do you want that to be you?!" Kyle pointed at Stan. Tweek fidgeted as he yanked the sun tan lotion from Craig's hands and started rubbing generous amounts all over his front vigorously.

"GAHAH! THAT'S NOT GONNA BE ME! CRAIG, HELP ME!!" Craig took the bottle back from Tweek and gently started applying more lotion onto Tweek's back as he shot Kyle a venomous glance. Kyle swallowed as he looked back at the boys.

"Dude, we'll put the lotion on. But every 80 minutes is a little much, we'll be fine." Stan shrugged. The boys nodded in agreement.

"Guys you're acting like I'm making up the rules. It's my mom-" Eric rolled his eyes and walked up to stand next to Kyle.

"Kyle, buddy, hey there. Listen, you're talking waaaaay too damn much. Let us into the pool and we can start having fun, okay? I'll deal with your bitch of a mom if she decides to give us crap." Eric clapped Kyle on the back as Kyle stared dumbfounded at Cartman.

"Bitch of a-?! Cartman this is my parent's pool that YOU'RE using, fatass! The least you can do is listen!" Kyle said angrily.

"I think we should listen to Kyle's rules, very much. His p-p-p-pee-parents are nice enough to let us use it on such a hot day." Jimmy spoke up.

"Well, sure! My dad said if I don't put on my suntan lotion every 80 minutes and get skin cancer, he'd ground me for sure!" Butters fidgeted with his hands. Kyle smiled at them both and turned back to Cartman.

"There, you see fat-boy? That's why anyone who doesn't put on sunscreen BEFORE getting in the pool isn't getting in at all!" Kyle exclaimed. The boys all stopped what they were doing and stared at Kyle and Cartman silently. Cartman cupped his chin in thought while Kyle stood next to him with his arms crossed.

"Hmm...ah, I see what you're saying, Kyle. Loud and Clear." Kyle had a triumphant face on before Cartman pointed at Kyle.

"GRAB 'EM!" Cartman exclaimed. All the boys in the fourth-grade class rushed Kyle. Kyle yelped as he was scooped up by the boys, wriggling and fighting to no avail. The boys carried him above their heads to the edge of the pool.

"GUYS! PUT ME DOWN!!" Kyle yelled out. The boys looked at each other and shrugged.

"You wanna be put down?" Stan asked a squirming Kyle.

"YES!!" Kyle shouted. The fourth-grade boys unanimously decided to set Kyle down.

By throwing his ass in the pool.

Kyle hit the water with a huge splash, causing the water to be disturbed and rippled. The boys cheered as they started jumping in after him and cannonballing into the pool. Kyle resurfaced and spit water out from his mouth.

"Pfft- GUYS! We can't be in the pool yet, we need sunscreen!" Kyle complained. Cartman waded into the pool as the boys started splashing each other with water and putting floaties and toys in the pool.

"Uh oh, guys! Kyle's still whining about the sunscreen! We better fix that!" Cartman exclaimed. Kyle turned to yell at Cartman when he felt hands grabbing his arms. Kyle turned back to see that Craig, Tweek, and Kenny started putting their hands on him. More kids were advancing as well.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing?! Get off me!" Kyle squeaked as he splashed in the pool, more kids grabbing his legs and arms and wiggling fingers into his bare skin.

"You see Kyle, I knew you were gonna make a big gay ass speech about what we should and shouldn't do before we got into your pool. As you always do such faggoty things before we're allowed to have any fun, I took it upon myself to tell the guys that if you start going off on a tangent and we need a quick way to shut you up, this was the perfect way to get it done." Cartman watched with glory in his eyes as Kyle started wriggling and giggling in the fourth-grade class's grip.

"Guhuhuys! Guhuhuys stohohohop!" Kyle giggled as what felt like hungry invasive fingers squished, kneaded, prodded, poked, spidered, and scribbled his skin. Jimmy, Tolkien, Butters, Stan, Kenny, Craig, and Tweek all zipped and wriggled their fingers into Kyle's skin while keeping his limbs spread apart. Being in the pool didn't help Kyle fight them off, and the water made his skin slick. Timmy watched with Cartman with a frown on his face.

"Uh...Timmeh?" Timmy asked. Cartman turned to Timmy, Kyle splashing in the pool behind him.

"Yes, Timmy?" Cartman asked. Timmy pulled up his phone and started recording.

"Timmy Timmy." Timmy said with an evil glint in his eye. Cartman nodded approvingly as he turned back to Kyle.

Craig held Kyle's arm away from his side and scribbled his fingers in his underarm while Tweek scritched along his ribs. Tolkien and Butters held onto Kyle's ankle and entertained themselves by stroking one finger up his foot and watching his toes clamp up. They did this over and over as it was entertaining each time.

Stan and Kenny held apart Kyle's other arm as Kenny gave Kyle little nibbles on his side and blew raspberries in his belly, which made Kyle buck and squeal. Stan scritched in Kyle's armpit while making conversation with Craig. Jimmy had Kyle's other foot all to himself. He held his ankle in the crook between his arm and his side in a headlock as he scrubbed Kyle's foot up and down with one hand. Kyle was quickly going ballistic already as 70 fingers played him at once.

"GUHUHUYS PLEHEHEASE!! THIHIHIS IHIHIS CRAHAHAZY!!" Kyle yelled out, the water splashing all around them. Kyle was floating on his back in the water being held up by the guys holding his limbs apart, so he had no leverage to squirm or escape anywhere. Kyle's eyes screwed shut as he felt fingers squish the pudge on his belly, to which he gave a loud reaction.

"Wow Kenny, you really like Kyle's stomach huh," Stan commented. Kenny shrugged and scribbled his fingers all over Kyle's tummy, reaching from the bottom of his ribs to the tops of his hips with his hands.

"Oh hey, I wanna help! Let me try!" Butters left Tolkien at Kyle's foot and went up to the opposite side of Kenny to add another ten fingers to Kyle's midsection. Kenny started scribbling his fingers in Kyle's bottom ribs while Butters dipped his fingers in Kyle's belly button and pinched his hips.

"GAHAHAHA!! NOHOHOHO!! STOHOHOP PLEHEHEASE!!" Kyle pleaded, his body getting tired with all the exertion from trying to get away from so many fingers. He was gonna have a killer six-pack in the morning.

"Aww, well he's just ticklish everywhere, isn't he! That's so sweet!" Butters beamed at Kenny while Tolkien decided to experiment and scritched his fingers underneath Kyle's knee while still pulling his leg apart. Kyle let out a loud cackle as he tried pulling his leg back.

"Hey, how's that working for you, T-T-Tolkien?" Tolkien looked up at Jimmy with a smile on his face.

"Oh, it's working great! He gets really loud when I get right here. You wanna try?" Jimmy nodded and grabbed a better hold of Kyle's leg, and started scratching his fingers under Kyle's knee. Sure enough, Kyle started pulling on both legs trying to reclaim them with this new technique.

"Hahaha, awesome!" Tolkien gave Jimmy a thumbs-up as Craig halted his tickling for a moment to stretch his wrist. Cartman pointed a finger at Craig as he sat on the steps.

"Keep going, Craig! We gotta tire the Jew out so he doesn't bitch for the rest of the night!" Cartman demanded.

"NOHOHO YOU DOHOHON'T! JUHUHUST STOHOHOP!! I'M SORREHEHEE!!" Kyle yelled out, as Craig responded in his monotone voice.

"I'm doing the best that I can. His pulling is hard on my wrist." Craig rotated his wrist before holding onto Kyle's bicep and going back to a hidden gem he found. Between Kyle's middle ribs and back where the skin joined, Craig scribbled in that one spot to make Kyle scream a manly sound. Tweek winked as he kept his tickling confined to Kyle's side.

"So anyway, Red Racer reaches the finish line right as Blue Racer does, so the judges have to go back and watch the footage to see who actually won the race. It was a nail-biter." Craig explained to Stan. Stan nodded as he listened, but mostly looked down at his super best friend getting the shit tickled out of him. He had a forced smile plastered on his face with his eyes screwed shut tightly, with an occasional pull or tug of his limbs. Stan couldn't imagine being in this situation, but he wasn't gonna be the one to stop it. What if Cartman ordered they all go after him next? He couldn't handle that.

"...Yeah, so what did the judges say?" Stan asked as he scribbled his fingers in Kyle's underarm. He noticed he didn't have to try too hard to keep Kyle's arm away from his side to reach this spot.

"We won't know until next week. I can hardly wait. Red Racer always wins every race, but it's the season finale, so it could have a different ending." Craig discussed calmly as if he wasn't tickling a wildly splashing boy with six other boys.

"Timmy? Timmy Timmy?" Timmy asked Cartman, still recording on his phone. Cartman thought about it for a moment.

"Hmm, I'm not sure. Let's see." Cartman cupped his hands around his mouth and called out to Kyle. "How you doing Jew? Ready to give up the sunscreen?" He called out. Kyle shook his head bravely as he continued to laugh out.

"NOHOHOHO!! YOHOHOU STIHIHIHLL NEEHEHEHEED TO WEHEHEHEAR IT!!" Cartman shrugged as he went back to lounging in the pool.

"You heard him, boys! He wants more!" The fourth-grade class worked diligently, their fingers more energized than before.

"GAHAHAHAD!! I DOHOHOHON'T WAHAHANT MOHOHOHORE!! PLEHEHEHEASE!!" Kyle laughed out earnestly as more spots were found on him, to in-between his thighs, to his hands, to his inner elbows, and the skin above his knees. His thighs were a winner, however. Jimmy and Tolkien pulled apart his legs and hugged his knee to grip and scribble their fingers in his inner thigh, causing Kyle to squeal and cackle loudly.

````

Gerald and Sheila watched from the closed slider door, smiling gently. It was a rare sight to see Kyle acting like a kid for once with all his friends.

"He gets it from you, you know." Gerald held Sheila around her waist while they watched their son and pattered his fingers along her side. Sheila twitched as she bat Gerald's hand away with a blushing face.

"Oh stop it, Gerald!~ Save it for Saturday, honey~" Sheila cooed as the two shared a kiss, and turned for the living room as their son splashed in the water.

````

"CHRIHIST!! SOMEONE- *hic* so-SOHOHOHOMEONE HEHEHEHELP!!" Kyle cackled out as he felt Tolkien's fingers invade his toe spaces and Tweek and Kenny took turns blowing raspberries in his hip divets. They were having fun with this, actually.

"Wow, Kyle has a lot more endurance than I thought. If I had endurance like Kyle I would be so happy." Craig commented. Stan started to get uneasy. Kyle started hiccuping a second ago, and his red cheeks were concerning.

"Alright Cartman, that should be enough right? I mean, look at him." The boys stilled their fingers for a moment. Kyle still giggled to himself and twitched from the air moving around him.

"Aww, the poor guys all tickled out. Aren't you buddy?" Butters patted Kyle's stomach, which Kyle jerked away from reflexively.

"Buhuhutters- *hic* doho-dohon't touch me-" Kyle snickered as Butters fidgeted. Cartman stood up from the pool steps and looked down at Kyle. Kyle's eyes winced having to look up into the sun-filled sky.

"Well, Kyle? What do you say? Are we forgetting the sunscreen?" The boys waited intently for an answer; their arms still wrapped around Kyle's arms and legs while the water waved around them.

"Fuck no, fat-ass! We can't forget it, my parents will find out! Please, just put some on and we can start playing!" Kyle pleaded. Cartman sighed and gave the signal for the boys to start tickling again. Kyle felt the boys' hands around him shift and place themselves on his body.

"Wait wait WAIT! Okay okay! I'll forget it! I'll forget the sunscreen I swear!" Kyle yelled out. Cartman turned back and pointed a finger in Kyle's face.

"If I hear a single word about sunscreen or rules again from you Kyle, you're gonna get it! Alright, let him go." The fourth-graders slowly released Kyle. Kyle rubbed his wrists as the boys saw their fingers onslaught over Kyle's torso, the pink swipes and scratches on his white skin. Kyle looked to the side as he rubbed his shoulder silently.

"Well, I still need to put on my sunscreen, or I'll get grounded!" Butters announced. Kyle looked up at him.

"Yeah, I n-n-need to put on mine too, a comic always has to look his b-best!" Jimmy added.

"Hey honey, mind helping me put some sunscreen on my back? I could use it." Craig asked Tweek.

"GAH! O-Of course! Skin cancer is no joke!" Tweek winked as Craig smiled softly at him.

"We're all gonna put ours on, too." Tolkien, Stan and Kenny nodded in agreement.

"TIMMEH!!" Timmy smiled and exclaimed. All the boys started getting out of the pool to put their sunscreen on and made sure everyone was properly covered. Kyle had a huge smile on that wasn't forced on his face.

"Thanks you guys, you're the best! Now we can play all we want in the sun without getting hurt!" Kyle exclaimed. The boys all cheered and cannonballed back into the pool while Cartman rolled his eyes.

````

"Aw dude, sick!" Stan shouted upon seeing Cartman at the bus stop on Monday. Cartman's face was pink with white peelies all over his ears, neck, and cheeks. He had suffered bad sunburn from the pool with no sunscreen. He rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms in a huff.

"Whatever! Sunscreen is overrated and gay as hell! I don't peel, I'll just get tan after this!" Kenny and Kyle walked to the bus stop and stood next to Cartman. Kenny burst out laughing upon seeing Cartman, and Kyle let out a few sputters as well.

"AYE! You all better shut the fuck up! I don't need any damn sunscreen!" Cartman defended.

"HE LOOKS LIKE A FAT TOMATO!" Kenny cried out. Kyle and Stan both started laughing hysterically as Cartman yelled out at them.

"I'M NOT FAT! SHUT UP!" Cartman shouted.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it, you big baby." Stan rolled his eyes as he clapped Eric on the back. Eric yelped as the sunburn on his back stung from Stan's slap.

"ACK! Don't do that, retard! I got sunburn-" Cartman called out, but shut himself up as his friends leered at him.

"What was that you said, fat-ass? You got sunburn?" Kyle said with a shit-eating grin as he slapped Eric's back. Eric let out a screech as he started running down the road, away from the bus stop. Well, as well as he could run anyway. The three boys easily caught up to him and slapped all their hands across his sunburned back.

"YOU GUYS- ACK! I'M SO SERIOUSLY- OW! STOP IT- ACK! STOP!- OW!"

After this experience, Cartman learned his lesson. He was never caught without sunscreen again, and abided by all of Kyle's rules before entering his pool.

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

I have a weird headcanon when it comes to style

Ike gave Stan the shovel talk

Like he's like half of Stan size, and a little kid, but if you hurt his big brother you will have to answer to him

I think the Broflovski Brothers are very ride or die

Dude YES they’re so ride or die! And Stan agreed with all the seriousness he could muster lmfao style started dating and Ike went “you better take care of my brother or I will destroy you.” Hell they were raised by Sheila they both know how to be scary and Ike is a genius, he could totally ruin someone’s life lmfao.

I love the idea that Ike and Kyle bicker a lot, as siblings do, but there is NOTHING they wouldn’t do for each other.

Also on Stan and Ike, I definitely have the headcanon that they’re really close, terrorizing online rps (Ike loves gta) well into adulthood. They’re comfortable enough with each other to hang out even when Kyle’s not there, especially all growing up together like they did, Ike sees Stan as an extra big brother, knows he’d never hurt Kyle, trusts him. But he had to give him the speech lmfao it’s a matter of principle and principle matters a lot in the Broflovski household.

Additionally, Shelley also gave Kyle a talk. “Listen up, turdling. He’s a sensitive little dork, and if you break his heart, I WILL break every bone in your puny body, got it?” She’s scary

[empressofthesunwriter]

Friendly Faces Everywhere

Codename Dovahkiin Part 2

Now that the Stick of Truth RPG is over it's time for N.K. to face the normal everyday life of South Park.

She should have known nothing in South Park is ever normal!

Day to day the craziness of this supposed quiet little mountain town she has to combat now.

Thank god, she has Tammy, Wendy, her boys, and her Social Media/Magical Girl Powers on her side.

This gonna be a wild ride!

Main Pairing: New Kid/Kenny McCormick/Kyle Broflovski

Chapter 8: Why is it all so complicated?

Kenny and I are waiting before school for Heidi to talk about being a polycule.

I will be truthful to you guys.

I’m nearly pissing my pants.

This could end badly in so many ways, that I’m really thinking about just to call all off.

I’m happy with Heidi, I can change this future I saw or hallucinated.

Why should I have more?

Because sometimes you fall in love and can’t stop it.

I love Heidi.

I love Kenny.

I also love Kyle, but he is right now not here or wants to be part of it as it seems.

What I try to say is, my feelings won’t go away.

I can’t let go, because they are true and pure and intense.

Never in my eleven years on Earth, I would have thought I would have such drama in my love life so young.

I thought in High School this shit was about to happen.

Shows again how unnormal I am.

At least I’m not alone…Kenny is unnormal too.

I wonder if I have seen him die and don’t remember it. He didn’t tell me this.

I really hope I don’t have to choose between Kenny and Heidi.

I…I just can’t.

Finally, we see Heidi arriving. She looks curious, yet worried.

I wonder what she is thinking.

I hope that she doesn’t think I want to break up with her to be with Kenny because that’s totally not it!

“Hey Heidi.”, I greet. “Thanks for coming this early here to talk.”

My girlfriend nods.

“Of course. You sounded like you were dying. Also…what do you and Kenny want to talk about?”

Kenny and I look at each other. He gives me an encouraging nod.

Right, it’s the best I talk.

So slowly and carefully I explain to Heidi what is going on.

That I love her, but I still love Kenny and Kyle.

That Kenny loves me back and would be even okay with it if I date her and him at the same time or also that we all date each other.

When I finish talking I feel like throwing up.

It doesn’t get better seeing Heidi’s tears in her eyes.

“You know…I had a feeling…I felt that you never stopped to love Kenny and Kyle.”, she sniffles and I just want to hug her and never let her go. Hurting Heidi was never an option for me, yet here we are. “I’m not enough?”

“You are enough!”, I yelled desperately.

“Yet you still want the boys too. N.K., I don’t know if I can do this. Polyamory is not for everyone.”

“Heidi, love, look-“

“No.”, she interrupts me. “Don’t choose me because you don’t want to hurt me. Even if we stay together…you would still love Kenny and Kyle…right?”

What else can I do than nod?

My girlfriend signs heavily, wiping away her tears.

“I…need some time to think about it…Can we have a break, N.K.?”

Saying I’m not hurt by it is an understatement, but I will give Heidi as much time as she wants.

Why do I have a feeling my whole life will change when Heidi makes her decision?

A whole week passes by.

I stay mostly with Tammy away from our fourth-grade friends, since Heidi is with them. I told Kenny that till Heidi tells us her decisions, it would be better if we stayed just friends too.

No one shall make a move on the other.

Kyle gets invited to the White House and gets a medal for his speech about Caitlyn Jenner being a hero.

Also, we have suddenly a lot of Canadien students in our school.

Today at lunch I and Tammy watch fascinating how our new classmate and friend Emma puts so much maple syrup on her pancakes, that you can’t even recognize them anymore.

“You wanna have a taste, buddy?”, the red-haired girl ask us with a light French accent.

She comes from Quebec, yes the Quebec like in the caverns Kenny, Kyle, and I enter to free the Minister of Montreal, and there they speak French apparently.

Canada is so weird, guys.

“No thanks, Emma.”, answers Tammy for us. “Enjoy your pancakes.”

Which she did with gusto.

Well, no judgment from me. I could eat my Mamma Lasagne any day.

Anyway, it’s nice to have a new friend and learn more about Canada.

The next day, P.C. Principal with some of our Canadien students what us to show a play about Canadian history, only for Mr. Garrison to come in and be a grand dick.

I want to point out that all Americans, besides the Native Americans, came from immigrants, who took this country away from the people who truly were born here.

Garrison and all his possy who are against immigrants are so two-faced.

But okay telling P.C. Principal he has a pizza face and sucks his mom's dick was funny.

Not so funny was saying to the Canadien that they should be all fucked to death.

No wonder, that even Emma didn’t want to talk to me and Tammy.

She stormed out of school with her Canadian friends.

I’m thinking if I somehow can fix this mess with a good hashtag on social media when I hear my fourth-grade male friends talking.

“Are you serious!”, I walk over to them, Tammy right behind me. “You want that Leo puts an Romeo and Juilette’s a Canadian girl, how is this going to work?”

“Didn’t they die at the end?”

“Yes, Tammy, they died at the end because both were stupid teenagers who couldn’t like wait a few seconds and check the pulse of their supposed death love.”

“I don’t wanna die!”, whines Leo.

“You aren’t going to die, Butters!”, tells him Cartman. “You just have to date a Canadien girl nothing more.”

“Guys, we aren’t playing Stick of Truth. You can’t unite two countries with two fourth graders.”

“Do you have a better plan, Douchebag?!”

I take out my phone and start tipping.

“Watch and learn my young Padawans.”

I admit, I greatly understatement the stupidity of my fellow Americans. Garrison has already a lot of support, that my Hashtags CanadaIsOurFriend and CanadaAmericaUnity aren’t trending as much as they should.

Or my powers are broken.

So poor Leo was forced to ask out a Canadien girl named Charlotte.

From what I have seen of her she is cute.

Still, it pisses me off that Leo has to do this and my Social Media Powers are fucking with me.

“Have you tried to turn yourself off and on again?”, asks me Tammy, the smartass.

We are in my room, she is laying on my bed reading Naruto, while I stare in anger at all my social media on my computer.

I can’t figure out what is wrong!

“Haha, so funny.”, I fake-laugh and click like possed on the reblog and retweet buttons to get my Hashtags rolling. “My powers are fucking with me when I need them.”

“Last week you seemed to have lost your fighting spirit and now it’s back. You didn’t tell me what happened exactly.”

So I do.

Besides Kenny’s curse, I tell Tammy anything.

After I’m done Tammy suddenly sits up and stares with wide eyes at me.

“N.K., what if your powers are influenced by your emotions? How you tried to transform?”

“I haven’t…”

“Then do it now!”

I try to find the energy in myself to transform, but…there is nothing.

“Tammy, you might be on something!”, I tell her.

“Transforming also doesn’t work. N.K. currently you are under a lot of emotional stress maybe it blocks all your powers and that’s why your Social Media Powers and your Magical Girl Form don’t work.”

Desperate I let myself fall into her arms.

“This is such bullshit, Tammy! I barely know anything about my powers and they seem to always fuck me over.”

“Have you tried talking with your parents about it?”, softly she strokes my hair.

“Whenever I try, they block or change the subject.”

“I wish we could go…I don’t know in some secret lab and try to find something about your powers!”

…Wait…

I stand up and lead her out of my room.

When she asks me what I’m doing, I tell her that maybe we can find some clues in my parent’s stuff. For that we need to go into the basement and then the cellar.

The next day’s Tammy and I fight our way through lots and lots of documents.

So much I didn’t know…so much I’m learning.

But all is pointing in one direction.

Washington D.C.

Where I was born.

How the fuck should we get there?

While we were occupied with that, Mr. Garrison apparently raped the Canadien President to death and all our Canadien friends return home.

Mr. Garrison is in so high spirits that he actually tries to run for president.

Hah, if he wins I will call fatass a whole day only Eric!

So there is only one thing left after this days.

I get a message from Heidi, asking me to meet her at the playground.

As I see her sitting on the swing, slowly, swinging back and forth, I have my answers.

“You…break up with me?”, nonetheless I ask, trying to not cry like a baby.

Heidi stops swinging and stands up.

Tears are in her eyes too.

“I love you N.K. and being with you were the best weeks of my life.”, she whispers like she is scared she will disturb the silence of the night.

Only the stars are witnesses of our heartbreaks.

“But you…you still will break up with me.”

“I…I want someone that treats me and only me as his or hers anything.”, she admits, looking down at the ground.

Both our tears are making it wet.

“I don’t think I can be part of a polycule, I don’t want to share. I know you would stay only with me, but you will never stop loving Kenny and Kyle. I can’t force you to love only me. Like you can’t force me to try to love someone beside you or share you.”

I bit my lips and nodded.

“So…this is it?”

“This is it…”

A river of tears falls down my cheeks. My heart feels destroyed, yet also freed.

Heidi was sincere with me.

And I have to accept that I can’t have my perfect ending.

Because perfect doesn’t exist.

“We can still be friends…”, Heidi trails off.

I let out a little huff and smile bittersweet at her.

“I love you Heidi, I can’t jump back to being a friend. Maybe in the future but for the next weeks…”

“No, I get it.”

With this, she turns around to walk home.

“Goodbye N.K., thank you for the love you gave me. You will be forever my first love. I will never forget our time together. I…I wish you and Kenny the best…and I hope Kyle will love you both.”

“I wish you find someone who will give you the happiness you deserve Heidi. I’m devasted that I couldn’t be it.”

Heidi gives me one last smile and then she walks away.

Like I’m a statue I stay in place at the playground, watching her go, crying for us.

Slowly it starts to rain.

I’m cold and wet, but I just can’t seem to move.

I close my eyes and face the sky.

The raindrops are like the caress of a lover.

The perfect end doesn’t exist, I remind myself.

This night I dream again.

I dream about a beautiful older Heidi, holding a pretty red-haired boy in her arms.

He isn’t Alexander or the child I was pregnant with from my other dream. I just know it.

Kenny joins her side with Layla and Naomi, as Kyle and Alexander take my hands to go to join our family.

This…this is my perfect happy ending.

Impossible and beautiful.

I wake up, staring at my ceiling.

New tears roll down my cheeks.

It’s like he knew that something was wrong as my window opens slowly and Mysterion pokes his head in.

He doesn’t say anything.

His look is enough.

I reach out with one hand to him.

Not a second later he is beside me in bed, hugging me to his chest, humming a small melody to calm me down.

We stay like this, till the first rays of the sun.

We fall asleep, embraced, and together.

I lost Heidi…but Kenny won’t leave me.

Maybe I don’t need perfect.

Maybe I just need someone who can love like me and love me.

I’m not crying you are. *blows in my tissues*

I’m sorry that N.K. and Heidi broke up, but Heidi seems to me like someone who can’t love more than one person.

Well at least not right now.

She may have dated N.K. and learned a lot about herself, but she still is only 10 and wishes for a monogamous relationship.

Polyamory is a lot of work and for someone so young it’s too difficult to maintain.

N.K. and Kenny are already more mature than most of their age mates, thanks to both of their powers/curses and family situations. N.K. with the moving and leaving behind all, Kenny with his deadbeat parents and practically raising Karen on his own.

They have the mental capacity to make this work.

Okay, the only one right now that could join the polycule would be Kyle, but right now it would mean only that N.K. dates the two guys and they stay friends.

But this is also a K2 fanfiction, we also have to go on the journey of Kenny and Kyle falling in love with each other. :3

Which I can’t wait to write for since K2 is my freacking OTP in South Park. :D

For now, we will have N.K. and Kenny be a pair.

A boy, can you imagine what field day Cartman will have with this? I sure can. XD

Until next time!

Next

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empressofthesunwriter

[victimized-martyr]

Hey there! If you’re still doing the ask thing, hm, maybe 33, 19, and 9?

(Also just gonna say you have really funny, neat headcanons!)

Aw! thanks lolol. I like makin myself laugh when coming up with kyman stuff so I'm happy to hear you like 'em too.

Anways *sigh*. I don't know the meaning of brevity ok here we goooooo

33. what is an episode/moment from the show (or a game) that you consider to have very kyman-undertones, yet NO ONE ever talks about it? (UNDERRATED KYMAN MOMENT(S))

I wouldn’t say it’s underrated, but it’s recent so it doesn’t have the attention that other moments have garnered. Help My Teenager Hates me is such a good kyman episode. Kyle takes the first shot. Cartman gets hissy about it and fights back with his words. Kyle, in demonstration of his fiery temperament, shoots unnecessary amounts of paintball bullets. Cartman has no choice to surrender... for the moment. Cause Cartman catches Kyle off guard, honing his energy on one, harsher blow. Like, that’s been their dynamic for decades! Kyman’s dynamic is expressed in a way I’d never thought could be succinct! I’m so happy with this episode.

I’m not surprised he picked up on his tears with lightning speed. Kyle’s always been in tune with Cartman’s emotions. He’s the cartman whisperer fr. Love this episode to death.

Kyle putting on concealer and Gerald covering for him like it’s a damn scandalous hickey and not a bruise. “hE’s eXpIrimEnTinG” oh my fucking god, mattrey.

“Kyle and Cartman hate each other” Why the hell they talkin like friends and engaging in friendly banter when they come across each other at the store then. Check and mate, hoes. (jk jk lol. I just love the reminder that at the end of the day, they’re still friends)

19. do Liane and Sheila (& Gerald, I guess) approve of this relationship?

hm, For Liane, it's not a matter of approval or disapproval; she's fine with Cartman dating whoever he wants. When Cartman was dating Heidi, she stood to the side with little interference. She'll do the same here. In the unlikely even that he turns to her for advice, for example, asking what Kyle meant by “setting boundaries”, Liane would take the conversation…um.. into another direction: “Boundaries?? Aw poopsikins, well, I guess you’re old enough to start understanding this sort of thing. Now, one of the first thing about consent is establishing safewords..." I think all in all, she’d be relieved that someone headstrong and stubborn like Kyle is dating Cartman. He’s starting to put the dishes away! He’s not screaming at her to be at his beck and call! She has time to look for work!

Sheila would be cautious. She trusts Kyle, and it’s not an issue of liking Cartman or not (because Cartman knows how to suck up to adults, and she’s happily had tea with him during the show), it’s more a worry that Kyle and Cartman will make good decisions in their relationship. I envision Sheila as the type of mom who takes dating very seriously, like, the mentality of “dating for marriage” kinda deal. Her extensive lectures on consequences and communication won’t do well to assuage Kyle's neurotic tendencies. That’s where Gerald comes in.

Gerald’s a dick, kay, he’s got a lot in common with Cartman and can see through his sons’ boyfriend’s bs like THAT. Above that though, he’s a family man who knows how to dish out sage advice. Gerald will set Kyle aside and encourage him to “yes, listen to Sheila, but also, don’t navigate so piously that you forget to have fun. And hey, lighten up. Don’t date Cartman to fix him. That’s not how it works, kiddo.” He can’t say for sure if they’ll last, but if Kyle really likes being with Cartman for who he is, then it's fine. Gerald speaks to Kyle from the perspective of a sadistic asshole who fell in love with a self-righteous redhead with an explosive temper– and while Kyle may not make that connection, Gerald does, and he talks accordingly. He makes a note to do what he can to help Kyle out when their relationship inevitably hits lows (yes, plural, because it’s his son. and it’s Eric T. Cartman.)

Wahh!! I went too into detail gfkjdhgkjdf but in honesty, I see it as a more complicated issue than a matter of approval or not.

9. who’s the more affection one?

Outwardly? In terms of physicality? Cartman. He’s so shameless that he’ll make out anywhere, anytime, if Kyle so much as asked. He’ll call him pet names. He’ll STILL buy those couple outfits. He’ll find any excuse to be in contact with Kyle in some capacity. He’ll make grand gestures, and those are his favorite because not only does he get attention from others, he get the coveted double whammy of humiliating AND doting on Kyle. Some might say Cartman’s affection is shallow, that he has a juvenile view of love. Arguably, the affection is there, he just doesn’t realize to what capacity. All he knows is that he finally has Kyle, so he will express himself when emotions arise. It’s very ‘spur of the moment’.

[urshitarespopinions]

What To Love About: Kyle Broflovski

Hello, random tumblr user - let's talk about another fan favorite, Kyle Broflovski!

The first thing that comes to mind about what I love about Kyle is his moral dilemma in nearly every episode. He's always got something to contemplate. He's always got his opinion.

Kyle strikes me as a very smart kid with the ability to reach far with his work. He has the type of dedication and grind to put him on par with some of the world's finest. Were he real, I could envision him doing great things. But alas, - unfortunately for us, fortunate for him - he is not.

On the other hand, I can see Kyle enjoying a nice quiet life outside of South Park, where he'd become, like, a teacher, or something. Something mundane but with enough everyday change to be enjoyable still.

Usually in the series, Kyle acts as a sort of plot device to contrast whatever morally wrong thing Cartman does. Part of me wonders if he really does oppose these decisions, or if he just finds joy in opposing Cartman himself. It's an interesting question that I'd love to expand on later.

I'd also like to take a moment to say I genuinely enjoy most fanon portrayals of Kyle. No, I'm not saying I like all of them, and a majority of the works I see, that depict him in a light I think contrasts from canon (writers usually call this circumstance 'OOC' for Out Of Character), are ones I don't really like to look into.

Also, a little sidenote here; where does this nerdy Kyle depiction come from? It is one I see often, and maybe I could justify it because he mentioned he liked to study, in some episode or other, but honestly I think Kyle probably just sits in his room and plays games with Stan all day. I think he's that kind of kid.

That aside, Kyle is a wonderful character and he's really truly one of my favorites. In my opinion, he's what makes South Park, South Park! Without him, who would contrast Cartman's ridiculously sadistic decisions? He's a genuinely interesting character that I love to see grow and adapt. He's the character I see pop up on the screen and I think, "There's Kyle! There's our boy!"

I can't wait to see what Matt and Trey do with him next.

Thank you for reading!

If you'd like to see more of this, please consider What To Love About: Stan Marsh :)

Who do I cover next?

[jubysicle]

"Am i just a Airbnb in Santa Clarita ?"

That's It, that's my favorite Kyle's quote

[jewbeloved]

Hello hello!I am a big fan of your posts,and i wondered if you could do Kyle,Kenny,Stan and Butters with a S/O who has disorders(Anxiety,Eating disorder,Separation anxiety,etc.You can pick any to your liking!)

Kyle, Kenny, Stan, and Butters with a s/o who has social anxiety💖💖🌸🌸

Note: I believe you didn't specify what type of anxiety you wanted for the reader, so I will just go with social anxiety.

Warnings: None

Gender: Neutral

💚 Kyle Broflovski 🌳

I feel like he will notice that you have social anxiety pretty quickly.

He doesn't want to cross your boundaries, but he also wants to help you as well.

If you're too afraid to speak out loud, he has no trouble doing the talking for you :)

He will understand that If you're completely uncomfortable with speaking out in public even though he wants you to sometimes, he won't pressure you to do it any further.

He loves you and he wants you to be comfortable <3

Cartman is pushing his buttons every time the dude makes fun of you for being anti-social.

Maybe stuffing Cartman's head into the toilet won't be such a bad idea for Kyle 😊

Kyle your number 1 supporter, and an wholesome boyfriend to have 💚💚💚💚💚💚

🧡 Kenny Mccormick 🍗

Another supportive boyfriend <3

He understands what it feels like to have social anxiety he was like that too before, but now he's more confident for sure!

Similar to Kyle, he won't persuade you into speaking out in public If you aren't comfortable doing so. He will also have no trouble doing the talking for you....even If people can't hear him underneath his parka......😓😓😓😓

I feel like he might joke around with you just a little about your social anxiety, he'll stop If you want him to. They're just playfully jokes If you know what I mean.

Can and will beat up Cartman If he has to, If he won't stop messing with you.

He will always be by your side, and even when he gets killed.🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

💙 Stan Marsh 💎

He found out that you have society anxiety at the last minute because he didn't notice it at first.

Once again, Stan also has no problems with doing the talking for you.

I feel like he kinda understands what it feels like to be anti-social as well.

He will also try to help and comfort you If you ever feel like you're going to have a panic attack in public.

He doesn't want his s/o to feel like they have to deal with this all by themselves.

He will hold your hand out in public If that's going to make you feel a little better.

If you were about to do a presentation speech in front of the class, Stan would probably try to distract Mr Garrison and get you out of doing the presentation If you're feeling very uncomfortable.

Cartman....of course.....was laughing the whole time at your uncomfortable state.....

Stan punched him in the face for that-

Stan may not look like he's helping to the fullest, but he really cares a lot about you and wants you to feel safe with him in south park💙💙💙💙💙

💛 Butters Scotch 🍥

Poor baby doesn't really know how to help...

Butters is most of the time always lost, but it's because he's trying to think of a way on how to help you cooperate with your social anxiety.

He wouldn't really notice your anxiety until you brought it up to him.

Similar to Stan he will try to get you out of doing things like a presentation speech, but most of the time he might fail in doing so and he desperately apologizes non-stop that he wasn't able to help!

So sometimes you'll have to be the one to comfort him. Even though you're the one who NEEDS to be comforted after struggling to do a presentation speech in front of the class.

Please reassure him that he is doing all he can to help you even If his attempts at doing so sometimes fails.

Heck, he might even go to the boys and ask them for advice on what to do.

Cartman being Cartman, he will try to tell Butters some incorrect advices and that won't be going so well for you and him...

In the end, I guess you both wouldn't mind comforting each other at the same time hahaha....💛💛💛💛

Eat an apple 🍏

[serenity-songbird]

(Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!! 💝💝💝 my husband and I spent the day lounging around the house...It was a great day!!! I love just sitting around eating Valentine's chocolate and watching TV while cuddling. 🥰🥰🥰 Here is a Valentine's Day special with my favorite character, Kyle Broflovski!!! 😘😘😘)

"Take my hand. I'll teach you to dance.

I'll spin you around. Won't let you fall down."

Kyle hesitantly took your hand.

He wasn't much of a dancer. But seeing you in your beautiful red dress, how could he say no?

You smiled softly as you sang to him. You had such an angelic voice.

"Would you let me lead? You can step on my feet.

Give it a try. It'll be alright."

He stumbled a bit as you spun and he tried to steady you.

You were a dancer. As he watched you spin so gracefully and expertly, he fell more in love.

Your expression was of pure happiness and love.

He wanted to see more. So he let you lead.

"The rooms hush hush and now's our moment.

Take it in, feel it, all and hold it.

Eyes on you. Eyes on me. We're doing this right."

He joined you in singing. You were the harmony and he was the melody.

You both knew this song by heart.

After all, this song was playing during your rehearsal. The place where he confessed his love for you.

With your voices in sync, you believed you sounded more beautiful than the original singers. The karaoke machine was playing on the outdoor table.

The lights hanging around the backyard made you glow brighter in the dark of night. You were a stunning sight.

"Cause lovers dance when their feeling in love.

Spotlight shining it's all about us.

It's aaall about uuus."

He started to get the hang of it with your teaching and soon you were dancing in sync.

He may have accidentally stepped on your heels once or twice, but you laughed it off.

"And every heart in the room will melt.

This is a feeling I've never felt, but

It's aaall about uuus."

He got more and more into it as the song continued. You both were singing to each other with all the love you held.

You didn't even notice Kyle's mom recording the whole thing and leaning on her husband with soft smiles. She was happy that her son found somone like you.

You were his and he was yours.

"Suddenlyyy, I'm feeling braaave.

Don't know what's gotten into meee.

Or why I feeeeeel this waaay.

Can we daaance reeeal slooow?

Can I hooold you? Can I hooold you clooose?"

He was never a dancer. Sure he and his friends formed a band and sung and dance...but that was different.

This...This is something special...Something... amazing...

He was always shit on and made fun of. People hated listening to his speeches and him and his friends were falling apart...

But you...you were always there...

Supporting him. Loving him.

Even when all the girls and boys were against each other, your love never faded.

You never left. You stayed to comfort him.

He could never repay you for everything you got him through. For making all the pain and insecurities melt away.

That's why he wanted to give you the best Valentine's Day ever.

Because of you, he changed for the better.

You made him feel...alive. Brave. Confident.

He wanted to give you the world.

As you resang the choruses in beautiful harmony, the memories of the day flashed thtough his mind.

He prepared everything perfectly. He literally prayed that nothing would go wrong. That for once South Park wouldn't have some sort of disaster ruin everything.

For once, his prayers were answered.

He got up that morning and opened his window.

There you were. Waking up from your slumber. As you turned, you saw him and smiled.

He signaled at you to open your window and you did. He used a selfie stick (lol. Very resourceful.) To securely and safely give you a gift basket. Inside was a stuffed bear holding a pot of fake flowers. They had felt and smelled so real. (Real flowers die and make a mess. He wanted to give you something that would last). There were also chocolates and your favorite goodies. You loved the golden earrings he had gotten you. Gold surrounding (F/C) roses.

You couldn't stop smiling as you open the beautiful, hand-made letter enclosed in the flowers.

To my Darling,

I know this is pretty corny...But I wanted give you something that will last forever. You are always there for me when I need you. You're my world and I appreciate all the things you do for me. So let me repay you by making our second Valentine's Day and 1 year anniversary the best day ever. I love you with all my heart.

Here's to many more Valentine's Days/Anniversaries to come.

From your Beloved,

Kyle B. ♡

You had to cover your mouth as happy tears formed in your eyes. You rushed into you closet to give him his gift using the same method.

He opened the gift bag to reveal his favorite snacks. He wasn't big on sweets so he appreciated the salty snacks you got him. He was ecstatic to see the last book from his favorite series. He had been trying to find this volume for ages. Now he can finally see the ending of the hero's journey.

Then there was the black box. When he opened it, he was suprised to find a golden chain with Together hanging from it.

He looked at you in question that soon turned to understanding. You held up a golden necklace that said forever. It was a matching pair. Except his was more masculine and yours was pretty and feminine.

His eyes sparkled as he saw the joy in your eyes.

You both had dressed up in your nicest clothes and spent the day together doing various things. Ice skating, going out for ice cream, and just having a romantic stroll through the woods that was blossoming with flowers. (Thankfully, spring was coming early this year).

Then as the sun set, he had one more surprise for you. He lead you to his backyard and you gasped. You hadn't noticed it before, but before when you were getting ready he set up the backyard with dozens of all your favorite flowers (at least 8 different types). He had also strung up lights and the patio to look organized and romantic.

He ordered ahead of time and you both sat at the table eating a romantic dinner of yours and his favorite restaurant. He had even brought dessert to share. It tasted amazing.

After you had finished eating, you ran into your house to get something and came back with a Karaoke machine.

He was a bit wary at first, but he couldn't say no to your doe eyes...so here you are now.

"Do you heeear that, Looove their playing ooour sooong?

Do you think we're ready? Oh, I'm really feeling it!

Do you hear that, Looove? Do you hear that, Looove?

Do you hear that, Looove. Their playing our song.

Do you think we're ready and Oh I'm really feeling it!

Do you hear that, Love?

Do you hear that, Looove!?"

It felt like something had taken over him. Now he was leading you singing his heart out.

You're duet matched the rhythm of your dancing and felt more...alive you could say.

Maybe he wasn't that bad of a dancer after all...

"Do you hear that, Looove their playing our sooong!

Do you think we're ready and Oh I'm really feeling it!

Do you hear that Love!

Do you hear that Looove!!!"

You were both letting your Love shine out to the world. Neither of you cares who heard.

Right now, you were the only two in the world.

{"Cause lovers dance when their feeling in love.

Spotlight shining it's all about uuus.

It's aaall about uuus.

It's aaall!!!

Every heart in the room will melt, this is a feeling I've never felt!!!

Buuut it's aaall about uuus!!! (Chorus repeated x2}

It's all about us...♡♡♡"

The moment you sang the last note, Kyle pulled you in for a kiss. He wanted to show you all the emotions you made him feel.

It felt like fireworks were going off while butterflies fluttered around in your stomach and electricity shocked your lips.

If you weren't out in the open, the kiss might have gotten more heated. Alas, knowing this you pulled away and you both just held each other. Necklaces clinking together.

Everything was perfect.

...

"Ooohhh. My hubby is growing up too fast!" Kyle's mom finally revealed herself as she wiped her tears.

You both spun around in embarrassed that his parents literally watched you kissing...

"That's my boy!"

"Mom!!! Dad!!!" Kyle's face was bright red. "This is a private moment!!!"

"Oh, I know. I just couldn't help but record this beautiful moment. You'll cherish this video for years to come." Shelia put her hands over her heart.

Kyle covered his face with his hands and you couldn't help but giggle.

"Mooom. Pleeeaaase..."

"Okay. Okay. We'll leave you two alone." Gerald guided his wife into the house, well giving a thumbs up.

"I'm so sorry about my parents..." You laughed.

"It's okay! They are sweet. Besides, when we get older, wouldn't it be so romantic to watch the video?" You smiled up at him.

Kyle sighed then his face softened. "I suppose it would be, huh?"

You then smiled mischievously. You pulled Kyle towards you and brushed your lips against his ear.

"My parents are out of the house spending the night at a hotel...How about you and I get some privacy and I can give you another Valentine's Day gift...I guarentee you're going to love it..." You kissed the shell of his ear.

Kyle gulped as he suddenly got excited. "I-I mean if Y-you really w-want to...I w-would love t-to..." He couldn't help the stutter as he got nervous and excited.

You smiles seductively and lead him into you house and up into your room.

Let's just say, you really showed him how much you loved him...It was a very steamy night.

Best Valentine's Day ever. ♡♡♡

~Fin~

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!!!

Here's your daily dose of love. 😘😘😘

[dear-wormwoods]

To South Park Ask Game - Smug Alert!

★ Do I like this episode? Why or why not?

I love this episode. It's got everything - Stan trying to save Kyle because he loves and misses him, Cartman saving Kyle's whole family because he can't live without Kyle, Kyle and Ike doing acid, Gerald being a smug douchebag, a cute dumb song, Randy saying "gall"... it's just a solid, great episode.

★ Favorite moment?

When the Broflovskis are driving away and Kyle looks back at Stan and puts his little hands on the rear window, it's so fucking CUTE and SAD. Also Ike's little suit and hat and briefcase in that scene... also so fucking cute. ALSO Stan and Kyle hugging at the very end.

★ Least favorite moment?

I guess I don't care about the acceptance speech smug cloud. It's not BAD, I'm just apathetic about that part.

★ Do I have an unpopular opinion about this episode? What is it?

I guess my unpopular opinion would be that Cartman didn't save Kyle for selfless reasons, it was entirely selfish. Even though I do think Cartman 'loves' Kyle, I also think his way of 'loving' people is driven by selfishness and meeting HIS needs. He was being perfectly honest when he said "I'm not doing it for Kyle". But... I don't think that's an unpopular opinion these days. Once upon a time it was.

★ Something I would change?

Needs more Kenny. Kenny literally isn't in it at all. He's not even in the background at the going away party.

★ Rating out of 5?

5.0

★ Anything else I want to say about this episode?

Kyle and Ike sharing a bedroom in San Francisco is cute. Idk why it is, but it is.

[uas-fics]

Title: Soulmate Highs Rating: T Summary: Everyone has a soulmate tell. As Stan finds out one day, his is that whatever his soulmates write on their skin appears on his as well. He should be overjoyed, but instead, he’s just nervous his soulmates will find him boring… Ships: Stunny (Stan x Butters x Kenny) Other: For @polyshipprompts Polyship Week, day 2, Soulmate AU.  

Oof thought I had an extra day to work on this but nope, I was wrong. >>, Sorry if it seems rushed or lacks the deeper nuisance and trope deconstruction of my other soulmate works. This one is mostly just for an excuse to write this ship.

—-

“Well,” Kyle took a breath, “that’s a dick alright.”

Stan couldn’t keep his eyes off the crude drawing of a penis across the underside of his arm. One moment, he had nothing there, then the next a line appeared. As if by magic, the rest of the appendage slowly grew across his skin.

“I can’t believe it,” Stan muttered. He’d heard stories of this, but never thought he would experience it. This happened to a second cousin’s hairstylist or a friend of a friend of an aunt’s stepmother. People you didn't ever meet. People who were lucky and excentric.  This didn’t happen to normal people like Stan.

“Me neither.” Kyle prodded the drawing with his finger. “You’ve really got your soulmate’s writing on your arm.”

Stan slapped his best friend’s hand away. “They’re not writing to me. I bet they don’t even know it happened.”

Stan covered the drawing, his mind buzzing. Everyone had some way to find their soulmates. Those were the soulmate tells. Some people swapped eye colors. Some were color blind until they touched their soulmate. Some shared fingerprints.

Stan had always assumed he would be someone who shared a birthmark with his soulmate, and, given how small and awkwardly placed his birthmark was on the back of his upper thigh, he would never have a chance to find his soulmate anyway.

Having his soulmate’s drawing just appear threw that theory out the window.

Only one in a few thousand had a soulmate tell like this! A direct line of communication right on his skin!

“I really, really can’t believe this.” Stan felt a goofy smile spread across his face. “I never thought I’d get this lucky.”

“Yeah,” Kyle crossed his legs on the carpet, “you’ve got a really good lot in your love life, Stan. I’m happy for you.”

Stan winced at Kyle’s tone. Kyle wasn’t upset or mad or even jealous, but behind his happiness for Stan, there was a tinge of bitterness.

On Kyle’s wrists were the words ‘thank you, please, come again’. They were either his soulmate’s first words to him or their last. Kyle had long ago adopted a pessimistic outlook that they had to be the first and last, and he would walk out of whatever store they worked at never see his soulmate again.

“Hey, Kyle, I’m sorry,” Stan started, but Kyle held up his hand.

“Dude, it’s fine. Are you going to reply?” Kyle changed the topic back to Stan’s soulmate.

Stan nodded, craning his head around to find a pen or marker. Spotting one under his bed, he moved to his side and reached out his fingers to roll it close enough to grab it.

He spun the blue sharpie in his fingers, thinking what to say. Maybe the direct approach was best. Something like 'Hello? Is this my soulmate?“ Or maybe he could draw a dick back. Give his soulmate the first impression that he was a chill dude.

Before Stan could decide, teal blue words scrawled across his arm under the dick drawing.

"Wow! Did you draw this? Are you my soulmate?” the words said, with an arrow pointing to the drawing and a wide smiling face.

Stan frowned, twisting his arm around. Why would his soulmate reply to their drawing? Unless…

The original purple ink wrote under the teal blue, “I guess I am! If I knew today my arm drawings would reach my soulmate, I would have drawn something more classy than a dick! lol”

“You don’t just have one soulmate, you have two.” Kyle gasped. “Shit, dude. Now you have to reply.”

Stan nodded, uncapping the marker with his teeth. He spat the cap out and held the marker over his arm, just under purple’s response.

“Wowie, golly, and here I thought I’d never have a soulmate. I wasn’t born with weird eyes or marks or nothing. Where you?” Teal ended their question with an oversized question mark, right where Stan was about to write.

“I gotta mole in the shape of Louisiana on the bottom of my foot, but that’s it.” Purple drew a rough outline of the Pelican State.

“I’ve never been to Louisiana. I don’t think I’ve ever been off Hawaii.”

Stan sucked in a breath. “He’s from Hawaii?” He exclaimed as Purple wrote, “You’re from HAWAII?!?!?!”

“Yup!” Teal added a stick figure surfing on a wave.

Instead of replying directly, Purple drew sunglasses on the stick figure then added a speech bubble proclaiming, “Cool!”

Stan grinned at their antics. He was sure he’d like Purple’s personality, and Teal must have so many stories from living in a tropical paradise.

“So, are you going to eavesdrop or tell them?” Kyle asked, leaning back. He snapped a photo with his phone. A second later, Stan’s phone lit up with a SnapChat notification. Stan capped the marker and picked up his phone, already knowing what the notification was about.

“Local Love Struck Doofus To Scared to Talk To Soulmates. More At 10,” the caption on the picture read.

Kyle smirked as Stan flipped him the bird.

“I’ll talk to them, I just…I need to find the right time to jump into the conversation.” Stan twisted his arm to see the continuing conversation his soulmates were having.

“So where do YOU live?” Teal asked.

“I live in the Colorado mountains,” Purple added a winter hat to the surfing figure then a few snowflakes.

“Kyle, he lives in Colorado!” Stan scrambled to sit on his knees and shoved his arm in Kyle’s face. “In the mountains, like you do! Maybe you know him?”

“There are a lot of mountain towns,” Kyle fell back to keep Stan’s arm from his vision, “and besides, if he lives in South Park, too, he’ll definitely know about you. Everyone in South Park and Middle Park knows about 'Tegrity Farms. It’s where most of the town gets its weed.”

He waved his hand around as if clearing pot smoke from the room. “I guess that works out well for you, then. Having one live in the same state.”

Stan’s stomach fell to his knees. He hadn’t thought of that. What would his soulmates think that he lived on a cannabis farm? There is no way they wouldn’t think less of him for knowing how to make pot butter.

For probably the millionth time, Stan cursed his dad for moving them out of the mountains ten years ago when he was five to start 'living naturally and in one with nature.’

Stan tossed the marker onto his bed before flopping onto his stomach on the floor.

He held out his arm and stared at the conversation.

“Do you snowboard?! Sled? I’ve never seen snow before!” Teal wrote.

“Sledding yes, but not snowboarding. I know how to ski a little.” Purple added a bear surfing alongside the stick figure. “It’s pretty boring here. I like it like that, though.”

Teal started to write something, but Purple wrote over him with another question.

“What’s your name? We should probably know lol.”

“My name is Leopold, but everyone calls me Butters–it’s a long story.”

So Teal Ink was Leopold–Butters. It would take a while for Stan to get used to calling someone 'Butters,’ but he was sure he could do it if he had to.

“Butters? Like what’s on toast?”

The last few letters in 'toast’ curved up so they didn’t overlap a part of the earlier conversation.

“Brb, gonna wash my arm off,” Purple said in the middle of the penis drawing.

“Me too,” Teal added under.

“Well, this seems as good of break in the conversation as any,” Kyle commented, tracing the words on his wrist with his fingers. “Wait for them to wash it off, then say you’re here too.”

Stan chewed his lip. “Yeah, maybe…”

Hearing the nervous tone in his voice, Kyle rolled his eyes. He stood and brushed his pants off.

“Where are you going?” Stan demanded to know as Kyle strolled towards the door. “ You can’t leave me while this is going on.”

“I’m coming right back.” Kyle pulled open the door. “You know my mom doesn’t let me eat at your house. Do you want me to pick you up anything while I’m out?”

Stan sighed. In retrospect, he should be glad he was able to keep up a friendship with Kyle at all after he moved away, but all the rules and regulations Mrs. Broflovski put on Kyle when he came down to visit were such pains in the ass.

“Yeah, there is a new gas station if you turn left and head East instead of back up towards South Park. They have that macha Monster I like and awesome chicken veggie pizza.” Stan pushed himself up to pick up his wallet from his desk. He took out a ten and handed it to Kyle.

Kyle nodded, pocketing the money. “Ok, macha monster, chicken veggie pizza. Got it. Don’t get another tattoo while I’m on a food run.” He smirked as Stan slapped a hand over his hip.

“That happened one time and you won’t let me live it down,” Stan muttered, tracing the poorly done paw print tattoo through his shirt. Some older kids from Stan’s school had invited them to a party, where Stan had been talked into being a canvas for an eleventh-grade amateur tattoo artist.

Kyle had tried to talk him out of it, but the artist was so pretty, Stan couldn’t say no and waited until Kyle left to grab something to eat back upstairs before allowing her to make the paw outline on his upper hip.

“Nope.”

As Kyle headed down the hall and the steps, Stan stuck his head out of his room to shout, “And get me a Twix, too.”

“Are you going to stress eat all night over this?” Kyle yelled back, the top of his head disappearing down the stairs.

“I just fucking might!”

“Stanley, language!” His mom shouted from downstairs.

After calling down an apology, Stan went back to his room and sat at his desk. He eyed the cup of pens, markers, and pencils. It would only take one mark for his worrying to end. If they were his soulmates, then what his family did for a living shouldn’t bother them too much, right?

Stan’s hand hovered over an uncapped ballpoint pen sitting straight up in the cup.  His arm was clear of ink now. This was his chance.

Just as his fingers brushed the pen, Butters replied.

“That’s better and yes my nickname is Butters like what goes on toast ha-ha!”

“That’s awesome dude,” Purple replied a moment later. “My name’s Kenny btw.”

Stan dropped his arm to the desktop, heaving a sigh.

He couldn’t do it.

Resting his cheek on the cool wood of the desk, Stan watched his soulmates get to know more about each other, unaware of their third partner’s eyes on their words.

Butters and Kenny went on to fill up his arm several times with chit chat and doodles. Butters was quite the artist and covered his wrist with vines and flowers twice. Kenny was funny as hell and made Stan have to cover his mouth to keep quiet before his parents came barging in.

They seemed like amazing soulmates.

After erasing their arm conversations again, Butters asked, “Could you do me a favor Kenny?”

“Sure, what?” Kenny wrote back.

“I have a tattoo. I got it to piss off my parents last year. Do you have it now? Or does it only count if I get another?”

Stan’s heart skipped a beat. He hadn’t even thought about if old ink still counted. He pulled up his shirt and stared at the faded green-black paw print.

“You have a tat? That’s sick dude! What is it? Where is it? I’ve always wanted one but couldn’t afford to go to a good place.”

“Thank you! I designed it myself. It’s on my left shoulder. Check yours!”

Heart pounding in his ears, Stan slowly rolled up his sleeve. Just before his shoulder, he stopped, shaking. Forcing courage through his body, he rolled it up completely to see a T-like shape in a box with the word 'Chaos’ written under it. Each of the word’s letters was in a different font style. Unlike Stan’s simple outline, this tattoo had shading that made the weird box shape look like metal.

“Oh, no…” Stan whimpered. He spun around and dove onto his bed where he left his phone. He didn’t bother to try texting. Pressing Kyle’s number, he held the phone up to his ear.

Three rings and Kyle picked up. “Yes, Stan?”

“Butters has a tattoo–and now I have one too. Another one. They’ll know I’m here when they see my tattoo.” Stan started to pace his room. “What do I do?”

“Just tell them! Who cares what they’re talking about. Just write on yourself that you’re their other soulmate and live happily ever after or whatever.” Kyle’s voice sounded irritated. “It’s not hard, Stan.”

“You don’t get it, Kyle! My family lives on a cannibis farm. I’m not funny or artistic like they are. I’m just…you know a normal joe. Nothing special.” Stan threw his arm out and brushed the back of his hand across his pen cup, knocking the whole thing over.

Pens and markers scattered on the floor, several rolling under the desk.

Stan swore, running his hand through his hair.

“Dude, I am not letting you have perfect access to meeting your soulmates and throwing it away because you’re a coward. Don’t make me take matters into my own hands, Stanley,” Kyle threatened.

“I am not a coward–”

The sound of coins and cash hitting a glass counter came through the phone.

“I have to help my love-struck, doofus best friend talk to his soulmates. Keep the change,” Kyle told someone. To Stan, he continued, “you have until I’ve driven back to 'Tridgey Farm to do it yourself, or I will sit on you and write it myself.”

Stan shuddered. He’d known Kyle since they were both in diapers. He could and would do what he threatened. No doubt about that. he would pin him down and write bluntly something like “This is your other soulmate’s best friend. He is too much of a wuss to talk to you two. His name is Stan.” right across his arm in black ink.

Stan slumped down in his chair, burying his face in his arms.

“Why can’t I have a colorblind soulmate tell or anything else? This isn’t fair…” Stan whined.

“Don’t know what to tell you. At least you know you’ll be able to meet yours and not walk out on them forever…” Kyle muttered bitterly. “Just–oh, shoot. That’s the clerk coming to my car. Well, you just got yourself another few minutes.”

He hung up before Stan could speak.

Stan repeatedly dropped his forehead against the desk. What was he going to do? He couldn’t let Kyle get here and do it. That would make him look like a total loser!

Deciding that reading Butters and Kenny’s conversation might calm him down, he rolled his head towards his arm.

A mark of blue ink ran down the back of his hand from his knuckles to just past his wrist.

“Did you do that? Are you ok?” Kenny asked, drawing an arrow to the blue streak.

“No, I didn’t draw that.” Butters drew a frowny face.

“Is there someone else here? Helloooooooo?”

Stan watched the final o and question mark appear on his skin. He heaved a sigh and sat up. He reached for a pen, only to remember he knocked the pen cup from his desk a moment before.

Shaking his head, he bent over and picked up the first pen he found.

“Ollie ollie oxen free!” Butters wrote. “Come out, come out, wherever you are.”

Swallowing down his nerves, Stan pressed the pen to his skin.

“Sorry.” He wrote then added, “I’m Stan.”

“What?! So, there are three of us here? Triple soulmates?!” Butters then drew a big heart. “I woke up today thinking I had none and before noon I got three? How lucky!”

“Noon?” Stan asked himself, then remember Hawaii was a few hours behind.

“Cool, man. How long have you been watching?” Kenny asked.

Stan considered lying that he had just woke up, but decided against it. Best foot forward didn’t involve lies.

“An hour? I saw the dick. I was,” Stan paused, “nervous.”

“Wow. That’s cute.”

He could almost hear the tease in Kenny’s words as if he had spoken them, but somehow he didn’t mind it. Instead, he wondered what they really sounded like, or even what they looked like. Kenny seemed like the kind of guy to have a lopsided smile. Butters probably spoke with his hands, Stan guessed.

The whole conversation he’d read, they had given vague descriptions of themselves. Both of them were blonds with blue eyes and his age, fifteen, but nothing else.

“It’s ok! I was nervous, too,” Butters made a smiley face, “but with three of us, will we have room on our arms anymore?”

“If we write really tiny…” Kenny let his handwriting grow smaller and smaller until the n and y were barely readable.

Stan snorted a laugh. In his tiniest handwriting, he asked, “Does anyone have a Discord or something?”

“I do! It’s ProfChaos172, my hamster is my pfp.” Butters announced with a picture of a hamster in a square box.

“I do but could you wait a few minutes? Don’t have wifi in the house,” Kenny admitted. “Gimme ten minutes to get to the library.”

“Wait, first, there is something I have to say if you even want to really include me in your lives.” Stan steeled himself. “Dad moved us to a pot farm when I was 5. Other than that I’m boring compared to you two…Idk if you want a boring soulmate like me.”

“A POT FARM?! HOLY SHIT!” Kenny drew a big, purple cannabis leaf. “Dude, that’s not boring.”

“I don’t think it’s possible to have a boring farm life no matter what farm you’re on,” Butters announced.

A weight lifted off Stan’s shoulders. With a smile on his lips, he placed his fingertips over the top of his soulmates’ last words. Knowing they wouldn’t think he was weird or boring because of his farm life, Stan wrote down his discord name and told Kenny he and Butters would wait ten minutes before attempting to contact each other.

Once Kenny wished them both goodbye, Stan bent down to turn on his computer. He tapped his fingers impatiently against the desk as the discord logo spun around. Updates, of course. It’ll take forever for all of them to download.

Leaning back, Stan took out his phone and pulled up Kyle’s contact. If Kyle was driving, should he just text him? Calling would be faster, but would Kyle even pick up? He only got his license a month ago and was a very careful driver.

Just as Stan went to open a text message, his phone rang. Kyle was calling him.

“Perfect,”  Stan mumbled before answering, “Hey, Kyle, good news. You don’t have to hold me down. I did it.”

“Oh, yeah, cool for you, Stan. Good job,” Kyle replied absentmindedly.

“Kyle? You sound distracted?” Stan strained his ears. He couldn’t hear any engine rumbling or radio or the wind. Hadn’t Kyle left yet?

Someone asked a question, and Kyle covered the phone to answer.

“Kyle?” Stan shouted into the phone as discord finally loaded. He already had a request from ProfChaos172 waiting. His profile picture was a cute cream-colored hamster. It even had a little cape on. Stan made a note to send a picture of his dog Sparky right away. Did Kenny have any pets? That topic would be a great starting off point for all three of them to talk, and it wouldn’t be hard to steer the conversation that way, either.

“Stan, you are not going to believe what happened at the gas station.”

“You got the final punch in your free pizza card,” Stan guessed as he pulled up his file folder of Sparky pictures.

“No, better,” Kyle laughed. “Do you know Jimmy Valmer?”

“Yeah. He’s in my class. Funny guy.”

“He works at the gas station you sent me to, and do you know what his Soulmate tell is? It’s like mine, words on his wrist.” Kyle continued, excitement growing in his voice. “You know what the words are?” He didn’t give Stan time to answer. “'I have to help my love-struck, doofus best friend talk to his soulmates. Keep the change’.”

Stan furrowed his brow. “No. No way. Isn’t that what you said while you were on the phone a bit ago?”

“Uh-huh! And Jimmy told me 'Thank you, please come again’! Do you know what that means? We’re soulmates!” Kyle shouted. “I found my soulmate. Life is great!”  Stan could almost see Kyle jumping to his feet as he announced his joy to the gas station parking lot.

Stan held the phone from his ear, but couldn’t help but smile. After years of moping and being bitter about it, Kyle ended up finding his soulmate after all. Stan would have to rub the irony of it in Kyle’s face sometime.

“Aren’t we just a lucky pair of boys tonight.” Stan chortled to himself. “Are you coming back here?”

“Nah, I’m staying in the parking lot to talk with Jimmy until I have to head back up the mountain. I called to tell you that so you didn’t worry,” Kyle explained. “I’ll pay you back for your pizza next time I see you.”

“No, it’s fine. Consider it a gift for urging me to talk to Kenny and Butters.” Stan smiled fondly at the computer screen. Only a couple more minutes now until Kenny showed up.

“Thanks, man,” Kyle replied. “I think I’m going to go now. Have fun chatting with your soulmates.”

“Have fun chatting with yours.” Stan hung up as a request to join a private group chat with ProfChaos174 and 6969SexyBeastMcCormick6969 appeared on his screen.

Without missing a beat, Stan moved his mouse and accepted the invite.

[ashleybenlove]

So I watched a brief snippet of the ending on YT and Hiccup tosses whichever child is the blond one (Nuffink right?) in the air while on Toothless and like, of course he did. 

Such a Hiccup thing to do. Just toss your child in the air while on dragons.

Also... wow, it’s starting to really hit me that it’s over and I’m just... really sad? 

Today’s been kind of a wild day, emotionally about HTTYD. 

I know I’ve been kinda grumpy about the ending, but like... I love this franchise? It’s left an important impact on me in a way that has always left me surprised. And I’m glad it’s in my life. My life would certainly be different without it. It’s interesting to think that what was essentially just a whim of “I’ll buy this movie I’ve seen before on DVD” almost six years ago would lead me to this moment.

I just keep thinking about my favorite quote from South Park, this wonderful speech Kyle gives about fictional characters that has been so important to me since 2007: 

"It's all real. Think about it. Haven't Luke Skywalker and Santa Claus affected your lives more than most real people in this room? I mean, whether Jesus is real or not, he... he's had a bigger impact on the world than any of us have. And the same could be said of Bugs Bunny and, a-and Superman and Harry Potter. They've changed my life, changed the way I act on the Earth. Doesn't that make them kind of "real." They might be imaginary, but, but they're more important than most of us here. And they're all gonna be around long after we're dead. So in a way, those things are more realer than any of us." -- Kyle Broflovski, South Park, season 11, Imaginationland Episode 3

[forlarnion]

Headcanon Masterlist

I figured I’d make some kind of post linking to most of my headcanons so they were easier to get to. Plus, it helps me get organized.

So here’s all my Kyle headcanon posts in one place with a quick summary of each.

Stick of Truth verse:

The Great Elf Meta Post of 2018 - Me expanding upon Stick of Truth’s universe. A little outdated, but the language/societal/background bits are good.

The Additions - The stuff I forgot to put in the Great Elf Meta Post.

Mixed Headcanons #1 - Includes information about bravery, intuition, role models, sleeping, parenting, mental health, views on masculinity/femininity, and ideal pets.

Word Association - Literally a “First word that comes to mind” type thing.

Mixed Headcanons #2 - Includes information about quirks, physical abilities, beliefs, interests, death, socially unacceptable thoughts, fantasies, and hatred.

Parents - High Jew Elf King talks about his parents

The Crown - It finally starts to grow before the battle against darkness.

Casual Attire - What he wears outside of kingly robes.

Dating Sim Tropes - How to date the High Jew Elf King.

Paladin Kyle - The High Jew Elf masquerades as a paladin to befriend humans.

Normal verse:

Kyle and Video Games - Kyle likes puzzle games, but is afraid of horror games.

Mixed Headcanons #1 - Includes information about intuition, where he feels relaxed, views of natural world, and happiness.

Mixed Headcanons #2 - Includes information about shape-shifting (if he could), how he’ll grow up, sleeping, anger, good samaritan things, and seduction.

Quizzes: Seduction Style - Spoiler: he’s Charismatic.

Body Parts He Appreciates - Abs are number 1.

Romance Headcanons - How to Successfully Date Kyle.

Q&A #1 - Kyle answers questions in character about relationship status, going back in time, kissing, trust, food, fist fights, and the last girl he spoke to.

Last Dream - The last dream Kyle had wasn’t safe for work.

The Beginning of FBW - I meta post a bit about how the kids in Coon & Friends still wanted to play Stick of Truth, but half their group was mad at them.

New Kid - Addition to the one above about sucking up to the New Kid.

Sheila - Kyle’s opinions on his mom.

Kystophe - Kyle turns to Christophe for affection here.

Absolute No-Nos - Something he’d never do.

Ten Layers - General Information

Bravery Checklist - Stupid things Kyle will do.

Painted Nails - Kyle would.

A Happy Memory - Kyle and Stan find a time capsule.

A Memory He Wishes He Could Change - Ass Burgers from Kyle’s POV

A Memory of His Father - Kyle asks Gerald for advice on how to deal with being bullied.

A Turning Point in His Life - When Kyle and Stan become best friends

Fractured but Whole verse:

Mixed Headcanons #1 - Includes information about eyesight, relationship with the Coon, how he came to Earth, demeanor, quirks, and innocence.

A Heartbreaking Memory - Memory of when Coon & Friends split.

Undercover Headcanons #1 - Includes information about the real Kyle Broflovski, human speech, living space, children, and more quirks.

Dating Sim Tropes - How to date Human Kite.

Interacting with Humans - It’s hard for him, especially with the Broflovskis.

Twin verse:

Gravity Falls - The Twins love it.

Kyle’s Name - Why he chose to be “Kyle”.

Performer verse:

N/A

Sengoku Basara verse:

Announcement Post - Initial verse post.

Splatoon verse:

Announcement Post - Initial verse post.

Squid Party - Kyle loves to squid party.

Type of Squid - He’s a California Two Spot squid

Adventure verse:

N/A

Mystic verse:

N/A

Vlogger verse:

Relationship with Sheila - It’s better in this verse.

Shame - He feels like a stupid idiot for being useless.

Video Editing - Kyle gets mad when he edits.

Planned Video Titles - Kyle names videos hilariously.

Medication #1 - He hates being told to take it.

Near Death Experiences - He almost dies a lot in this verse. Oddly enough.

Naming the Ghost - Odd name ideas from the boys.

Unused Madoka Magica verse ideas:

Magical Boy

Witch